A little jealousy

I do realized I get jealous easily these days. I had to urge to tie Sam up and put him into my pocket. He's just so precious to me, there's none like him out there. I'm so scared of losing him. It makes me jump inside even when he ask if another person if she is okay. what's wrong with me?!

A little different this year: Christmas!

This year's christmas is a little different from the past. It's been so long since I looked forward to Christmas. It was my first Christmas party with Samuel. My first Christmas with him. There were some irritating bloody bastards who made it not so good, but I'm still quite glad. I don't quite want it to end, but not to worry, more celebrations to come for the new year!

Busy holiday.

What a busy, eventful week. Just came back from our church camp, Desaru Pulai. It was our first time going overseas together. It was great experience, I must say though it wasn't a honeymoon kind of holiday. I am pretty proud of myself as the response from the camp was very good. I'm sure everyone is proud of the youths. I'm praying that the spirit will be brought back to Singapore and it will last. We had a last minute decision to extend our vacation @ Austin Hill with auntie Veron. It was simple, relaxing.

I was very pampered, I must say. Boyfriend's mother was taking good care of me when I had fever, his father came to my place to pick me up and drove me in for the camp, he was 24/7 there for me even though we couldn't do much. Look, who else can be as blessed as me!? No one, duh~

家?

每个人相拥有的家庭应该是热热闹闹，开开心心的吧。

我有一个像陌生人一般的姐姐，一个霸道，大声，永远都是对的父亲，一个永远受伤害，付出很多的母亲。

我，是家里最怪的一个，孤独的一个。爱，我不会表达。怒，我没资格。喜，都很短展。哀，就不用说了。

当父母吵架时，永远只有我这个“旁观者”在场，永远只有我，害怕地承担。胆小的我，有时真的很想离开。

从小教导我如何用神，用起初的爱来爱的人，却是那个在家里最霸道，骂人最大声的。要我如何去学？有时，都不想去听，去相信。我所看到的是所被教导的反义词。

Normal.

"The truth is we all get tired, we all get weary. In fact, if you never feel like giving up, then your dreams are too small. If you never feel like quitting, then you need to set some larger goals. When that pressure comes to get discouraged and to think about how you can’t take it anymore, that is completely normal. Every person feels that way at times."

At  least I know what I'm feeling is not too abnormal.

Want.

I want one more night.
I want to sleep next to you.
I want to feel your heartbeat.
I want your head on my chest and my arms around you.
I want to feel your skin against mine.
I want to to feel your cute, soft lips.
I want to kiss you on your forehead.
I want to lock your hand to mine.
I want to stare you, and take note of all the small details.
I want to cling on you like a koala bear, and hug you tightly like a big bear.
I want you, all by my side.
I really miss you, badly. </3!

Lord, I need you.

Lord I Need You

By Ron Hamilton

Sometimes when life seems gentle and blessings flood my way,
I turn my gaze away from You and soon forget to pray.
But when the sky grows darker and courage turns to fear,
My anxious voice cries upward with words you long to hear.

Lord, I need You when the sea of life is calm. 
O Lord, I need You when the wind is blowing strong. 
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees.
Lord, I need You. Lord I need You.

Lord, help me to remember I’m weak but You are strong.
I cannot sing apart from You, for Lord You are my song.
Although I’m prone to wander and boast in all I do;
Lord keep my eyes turned upward so I depend on You.

Lord, I need You when the sea of life is calm. 
O Lord, I need You when the wind is blowing strong. 
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees.
Lord, I need You. Lord I need You.