I lost control of my own emotions why I saw the message from MOE. What a way to start the day. I didn't get into ECH, NP. I sort of expected it, but I couldn't help to feel disappointed. I cried so loudly, like a kid. I got so frustrated, why can't I control my life fully and get what I want. My mum got so worried, she thought I might commit suicide and she took urgent halfday leave. I'm so glad she was there to help me, we rushed down to SEED Institute to do my application immediately. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping that I got it.
The day felt so long when it was only afternoon. I had no mood for anything, but I had to drag myself out because I met Ashley and Samuel. I was still pretty worried, like how awkward will things turn out. I put on a fake mask, and smiled my way to NP, the place that causes the wound today. Ashley forgot that she was suppose to have some family thingy and pangseh-ed Sam and I. I was secretly smiling inside (The first good thing that happened.). Well. He seemed to be avoiding me previously, and I miss talking to a nice friend, or maybe i do feel something for me? I don't know. But I've sek, and I myself is confused. I wonder if Sek is just a shelter for me to go to when I need someone.
He asked if I cried, he realized my eyes were swollen. At that point of time, I was touched, I was holding my tears in, I swear I tried really hard, I almost died holding in. I took the advantage to lean on him during our movie. I needed some comfort.
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