I just came back from ShangHai immersion trip. I managed to make some cheena friends, there were great, unlike those cheenas in Singapore. They were good host, we had great fun.
I fell sick as usual, but was glad that I was well taken care of. Also, I managed to email Samuel and Ashley. I felt a little sour, seeing how great they are together. I wished Samuel was mine. Sorry if I'm a little bitch here.
Okayyyy, back to the trip. It was fun and great learning experience but things didn't go that well either. I felt outcasted halfway through the trip. Friends didn't behave like my friends anymore. They seemed like they had plans behind me, outcasting me, ganging up to count me out. I cried during the trip, but I kept to myself. I should have known I'm forever alone, isn't it? Why am I still affected. I thought HCL is united, I thought everyone was everyone's friend. Well, I'm proven wrong. Time to learn how to survive alone, like how I am in my form class.
Term three is starting real soon. Well, I don't have the motivation to go school. I have no friends. School is like hell. Change of time table, I hate changes. I have to do well. That's all I know and I need to do well and be promoted.
要给对方看，我能过得很好.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Flunked.
HAAH. Time to laugh at myself. HAAH.
I lost interest in my studies. I have two bloody irritating form teachers. I have assholes, bastards and stupid teachers. You know what I did to my mid-year exams? I FLUNKED. I failed everything except math and chinese. This is the first time my mum was called to go to school for PTM. Well done, JiaEn. Be this way, continue to be this way.
I have no interest, no motivation. Oh God, how do I keep going? All the teachers look down on me. I have no friends in class, I'm probably their best joke everyday. My sister thinks I'm stupid. Everybody thinks I am. I don't know how to face myself as well. There's nothing that is keeping me going. What can I do? What am I suppose to do?
My mother weeped. I believe she's very disappointed in me. She told me she doesn't what can she do anymore. She's feeling so helpless and all I could have told her was I don't know. I really don't know. I don't see the point in living anymore. Silence is the loudest cry, but no one ever hears it.
I lost interest in my studies. I have two bloody irritating form teachers. I have assholes, bastards and stupid teachers. You know what I did to my mid-year exams? I FLUNKED. I failed everything except math and chinese. This is the first time my mum was called to go to school for PTM. Well done, JiaEn. Be this way, continue to be this way.
I have no interest, no motivation. Oh God, how do I keep going? All the teachers look down on me. I have no friends in class, I'm probably their best joke everyday. My sister thinks I'm stupid. Everybody thinks I am. I don't know how to face myself as well. There's nothing that is keeping me going. What can I do? What am I suppose to do?
My mother weeped. I believe she's very disappointed in me. She told me she doesn't what can she do anymore. She's feeling so helpless and all I could have told her was I don't know. I really don't know. I don't see the point in living anymore. Silence is the loudest cry, but no one ever hears it.
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