Shit.

I'm feeling worse than ever. Nothing seems to go well.

Firstly, knowing the English results just proves me that I'm dumb. HAAH. Retake and still get a B3. Time to be laughed at. Everyone around me telling me that I improved three grade within a year with no tutor, well, its good enough. Hey look, what's good? I can say that even an A is not good.

Secondly, the class got cancelled yesterday. Notification was given 25 minutes before class. How irritating. I hate last minute things and the fact that I was already reaching soon gave me more reasons to rage. The lecturer just postponed the lesson to today. What makes we think that everyone will leave it empty to wait for her to bomb something there.

Thirdly, I thought it would be more important to go to class and cancelled my piano lesson. Then I went through a big shit with my piano teacher just to get insulted and lectured because I cancelled this week's lesson and I have lesson very day next week. I decided to quit piano lesson and I got another insult from her. Well... Life. This is life. Laugh at that please. And now, my biggest dream is boomz. No more piano lesson. Can forget about my grade 8 already. Worse thing is, I ended up at home, cause too late to go to school, then I was too agitated, upset and awake to sleep. Sigh.

What now? It just hurts to know that I'm going through all these and my boyfriend is here to tell me that he will be busy next week and have to OT. WHATTTTT. I just can't accept. Because when he was so stressed up, thinking how to pay back the hours he owed due to church camp, the company went like oh, its in the contract that you have to work minimally how many hours and it doesn't count if you worked extra last month. Today, when he finally paid back the last four hours, they're here to say that he has to OT next week. Yes he is telling me that its him who is willing to work, okay can. Up to him. I know I'll just die alone in a corner. And then I'm told to be more understanding and supportive.

Who is there to be understanding and supportive towards me then? The shit that I am going through, I can just die.